My new internet store!!!

Big news, folks--I've started an online store. I'm planning to sell collectibles (mostly comic books, coins, stamps, etc.). I've already put one comic up for sale there. Check it out at http://jeremyotto.icareerkit.com!

coming soon to a blog near you--a movie review!

My friend Jeff who is a movie expert has recently seen (unfortunately for him) the movie "Resident Evil: Extinction". He wrote a hilarious review of it that I will be posting soon. Stay tuned!

Cult of the Sell Phone

I am sad to report that my wife and I will soon be joining the cult of the sell--oops, I mean cell--phones. She has conviced me that it would be better to switch from using a house phone to a cell so people can get in touch with us easier. Somehow, the idea of having a cell produces images of things like a ball and chain or an albatross hanging from one's neck. On the plus side, I won't have to worry about missing any important calls. The negative side is I will have to worry about not missing the unimportant ones. Oh well--like anything else in life--it's a tradeoff. And if you believe that one, I've got a bridge to cell you.

An interesting conversation

I had an interesting conversation with the elderly lady who owns the health food store in Champaign that I shop at regularly. Actually, it was more interesting the first time she told it, slightly less so today since it was approximately the ten millionth time. But what's amusing is each time she tells this little story it's just a little bit different.
She told me about how one day she was surprised to see a 2 dollar fee on her monthly bank statement which said "paper charge". She called up the bank manager and asked what it was all about, and the bank manager said that it was to cover the price of printing the monthly bank statements on paper and then he asked her "don't you have online?". She sternly replied, "No, I don't, and I never intend to!". The next month, her monthly bank statement showed a credit for 2 dollars, which she is sure was because she complained about the paper charge. But along with that monthly statement the bank had included in the same envelope was a flyer warning about the dangers of identity theft. Which was doubly ironic considering that A: it was printed on paper, yet they were charging her a 2 dollar paper fee, and B: because it was warning about a danger which presumably would be increased by having your personal information available online.
Hmmm...kinda makes you think, doesn't it?

Mouse = Toast

I've got some good news and bad news, readers. The good news? That electronic trap (the one that cost more than a Playstation 3) finally caught the pest. The bad news? My significant other said I had to throw the trap out with the beast inside it as well! Somehow the idea of using the trap didn't appeal to her. Oh well, at least the critter can rest in its little four inch coffin and have a proper burial.

House of M

Two days ago, my wife discovered a mouse--oops, I mean an "M". So we rushed to Walmart and got the latest electronic trap, which cost about $20, and a two pack of the cheaper kind--you know, the plastic cylinders you wind up and lock into place. After putting peanut butter and cheese in the traps, I set them in what I thought would be strategic places (in other words, close to where Bomina spotted the tiny beast) and thought the pest would be eliminated. Turns out I may have been wrong. Two days later, the traps still sit there untouched. And Bomina's strategy didn't work.
You see, when I first said the "M" word (_ouse) Bomina responded "Don't say that! It might hear you." (I am not making this up.) So I tried my best not to laugh, and played along. Never understimate the power of small rodents. After all, even the walls have ears.
Perhaps we were too late, and the fact that I said the "M" word alerted the critter to our attempts to slay it. Or maybe it has a sixth sense and can even read our minds. Whatever the case, it proved to be very elusive indeed. I welcome any advice on how to get rid of the dreaded--dare I say it--"M"!

A movie review of "The Darjeeling Limited"

I recently went to see "The Darjeeling Limited", a comedy/drama starring Owen Wilson, Adrian Brody, and Jason Schwartzman. Unfortunately, a better title for this trainwreck might have been "The Boredfeeling Unlimited". The story is about three brothers who get together for a vacation in India, and decide to visit their mother who is a nun there. Most of the film is set on a train.
To be honest, the only reason I thought the film would be any good was because Owen Wilson was in it. But he is too restrained, and lacks the spontanaeity and wildness that he is known for and that made his roles in films like "You, Me and Dupree" and "The Wedding Crashers" so funny. He doesn't seem to be having any fun. Brody is equally bland, and Schwartzman at least gets to have fun playing a kind of parody of Tom Cruise: not quite as handsome as Cruise, but otherwise very similar (cool, suave personality, short stature, dark haired, big nose, etc.).
Unfortunately the movie is too offbeat for its own good, trying to find humor in the interactions of the three main characters with each other and with the local Indian people. It's clear that the director Wes Anderson was trying to find humor in the juxtaposition of Wilson the "wild and crazy" one and Brody the "voice of reason". But like I said, Wilson was not wild and crazy enough to be amusing. Cameos by Bill Murray and Anjelica Huston add very little to the storyline, and by the time the movie is over, you may be thinking one of two things: "Wow, either that was a really deep movie and I just didn't get it, or it was a really terrible, pretentious and boring movie." I'm betting that possiblity number two is closer to the truth.

The importance of laughter

It turns out that laughter really is the best medicine. Studies indicate that laughing decreases stress producing hormones and increases endorphins, which are naturally occuring painkillers that produce a sense of wellbeing.
On top of that, laughter increases the number of killer T cells, which boosts the immune system, and it may even help fight cancer and tumors. So do yourself a favor and have a good laugh today! lol

How to Be a Real Man: The Offical Quiz

I've designed a quiz to determine if you are truly a real man or not. (Note: Not for the easily offended!) It works like this: for each "yes" answer, subtract one point. For each "no", add a point. Ready? Let's begin.1. Do you wear pink, lavender, or any other pastel colors?
2. Do you listen to Kenny G rather than Warren G?
3. Do you hate manual labor?
4. Do you prefer cocktails to beer or liquor?
5. Do you only eat egg whites, not eggs overeasy?
6. Are you addicted to chocolate?
7. Do you watch "American Idol"?
8. Do you hate action movies?
9. Have you ever shared an umbrella with a dude?
10. Have you ever complimented a dude?
11. Do you prefer to make appointments with dudes than chicks?
12. Do you hate the outdoors?
13. Do you call male friends "bitches" or "drama queens"?
14. Do you use words/phrases like "oh behave", "rant", or "fabulous"?
15. Do you mince rather than walk?
16. If single (and not dating) do you say "I'm taking a break from dating"?
17. Do you know how to cook (things other than burgers, grilled chicken, and eggs overeasy)?
18. Are you metrosexual?
19. Do you debate what clothes you should wear?
20. Do you go to a hair stylist or salon rather than a barber to get your hair cut?
21. Do you hate country music and/or hiphop and/or college rock?
22. Do you have a blog? (Uh oh, I'm in trouble on that one!)
If you scored a 20 or higher, you are a bona fide real man. You are as manly as Charlton Heston, Clint Eastwood, Johnny Cash, Trace Adkins (country singer), Brad Arnold (3 Doors Down lead singer), Garrison Keilor, and Dave Barry.
If you scored between 10 and 20, you are...well not a real man's man, but still fairly manly. About as manly as Bill Clinton, Brad Pitt (who was a real man until he got turned into a docile puppy by Angelina Jolie), and Jay Leno.
If you scored between 0 and 10, you are about average on the manliness scale. Think Bill Gates, Chris Martin, Steve Jobs, and Jeff Foxworthy.
If you scored less than 0, well, I'm sorry to say that you may not be a real man! Your personality is similar to Bill Maher, Richard Simmons, Andre Kim. But that's okay. Should you choose to join the ranks of Real Men, you can always attend the Real Man Seminar, which includes a weekend of camping in the Rocky mountains, eating three meals with red meat a day, watching Mickey Rourke and Charles Bronson movies and enjoying hunting and fishing expeditions.