How to Be a Real Man: The Offical Quiz

I've designed a quiz to determine if you are truly a real man or not. (Note: Not for the easily offended!) It works like this: for each "yes" answer, subtract one point. For each "no", add a point. Ready? Let's begin.1. Do you wear pink, lavender, or any other pastel colors?
2. Do you listen to Kenny G rather than Warren G?
3. Do you hate manual labor?
4. Do you prefer cocktails to beer or liquor?
5. Do you only eat egg whites, not eggs overeasy?
6. Are you addicted to chocolate?
7. Do you watch "American Idol"?
8. Do you hate action movies?
9. Have you ever shared an umbrella with a dude?
10. Have you ever complimented a dude?
11. Do you prefer to make appointments with dudes than chicks?
12. Do you hate the outdoors?
13. Do you call male friends "bitches" or "drama queens"?
14. Do you use words/phrases like "oh behave", "rant", or "fabulous"?
15. Do you mince rather than walk?
16. If single (and not dating) do you say "I'm taking a break from dating"?
17. Do you know how to cook (things other than burgers, grilled chicken, and eggs overeasy)?
18. Are you metrosexual?
19. Do you debate what clothes you should wear?
20. Do you go to a hair stylist or salon rather than a barber to get your hair cut?
21. Do you hate country music and/or hiphop and/or college rock?
22. Do you have a blog? (Uh oh, I'm in trouble on that one!)
If you scored a 20 or higher, you are a bona fide real man. You are as manly as Charlton Heston, Clint Eastwood, Johnny Cash, Trace Adkins (country singer), Brad Arnold (3 Doors Down lead singer), Garrison Keilor, and Dave Barry.
If you scored between 10 and 20, you are...well not a real man's man, but still fairly manly. About as manly as Bill Clinton, Brad Pitt (who was a real man until he got turned into a docile puppy by Angelina Jolie), and Jay Leno.
If you scored between 0 and 10, you are about average on the manliness scale. Think Bill Gates, Chris Martin, Steve Jobs, and Jeff Foxworthy.
If you scored less than 0, well, I'm sorry to say that you may not be a real man! Your personality is similar to Bill Maher, Richard Simmons, Andre Kim. But that's okay. Should you choose to join the ranks of Real Men, you can always attend the Real Man Seminar, which includes a weekend of camping in the Rocky mountains, eating three meals with red meat a day, watching Mickey Rourke and Charles Bronson movies and enjoying hunting and fishing expeditions.